Infidelity is not uncommon, and it’s one of the main reasons relationships fail. But still, the pain of infidelity can be brutal and seem to come out of nowhere. While everyone wants a clear and concise reason for an affair, there is no single answer to why cheaters cheat. In fact, people cheat for a variety of reasons, and those reasons often overlap. Of course, every situation is unique. However, here are some common reasons why people cheat.
Lack of Emotional Connection
If you’ve heard or said, “the fire is gone” or someone has teased that “you’re out of the honeymoon stage, you’re in good company. All relationships hit speed bumps and fizzle at some point. Sometimes the lack of warmth and appreciation leads to extended emotional distance. Unfortunately, that often also leads to looking outside of the relationship to meet those emotional needs. In those cases, people may cheat because they feel emotionally disconnected from their partner and crave intimacy or attention at the moment cheating could feel like an easy way to fill that void.
Boredom or Lack of Excitement
Sometimes people cheat because they feel bored or unfulfilled in their current relationship. It may actually start with themselves. If your partner is feeling stagnant, having trouble at work, with their family or friends, or facing challenges reaching their own goals, they may extend the blame and resentment towards you. This is not fair or right in any way, of course. But in their mind, they may be seeking excitement or novelty that they feel is lacking in their current situation.
Low Self-Esteem
Everyone has moments when they feel unworthy of their partner or simply unattractive in their own skin. Cheating is often seen as a way for people to boost their self-esteem or feel desirable. Validation plays a huge part in self-esteem, so a cheater may cross that line after consistently feeling insecure in their current relationship. That decision is a personal reaction to seeking and receiving validation from someone else.
Opportunity
Cheating isn’t always a planned decision, and there’s not always a clear reason for it. Sometimes, cheating occurs simply because the opportunity presents itself. People may not necessarily be actively seeking an affair, but they find themselves in a situation where it seems like a possibility. Once those opportunities are accepted and encouraged, the cheaters cheat.
Commitment Issues
You may be ready for the white picket fence, family dog, and 2.5 kids, but your partner may internally cringe or enter flight mode whenever the topics are mentioned. Even if you’re sure you’ve agreed on everything, he or she may be hiding the truth: monogamy scares them to death. Some people cheat because they have a fear of commitment or a desire for multiple partners. They may struggle with monogamy and find themselves drawn to the excitement of having multiple romantic or sexual relationships.
Cheating is never justified, and it’s never your fault. The cheater makes that decision and follows through with the action. You have the right, however, to know the truth and decide how you want to progress from there. Contact us when you’re ready to hire a private investigator and get the answers you need.